I recently came upon a quote that I wanted to share: beloved rapper Nipsey Hussle once said that we cannot possess people; we can only experience them. And this is so true - life has long been thought to be a journey of oneself and one's own growth, but when you think about it ... life is mostly about the people we encounter.
How lucky we are to be conscious beings that can interact and make memories with each other. How amazing it is that we have well-functioning, evolved brains that allow us to make memories at all. How blessed we are to cross paths with so many amazing people that we are impacted forever, whether we know it or not. Because if you think about it, had you been surrounded by different people, you would not be who you are today.
It wasn't until college that I realized the true power of the people around me. One particular moment that sparked this understanding was a meeting with my research professor. I am currently analyzing the data she gathers, but the concepts that she utilizes are graduate-level ones that I don't completely understand. I've always been one to not burden or to impinge. However, one day, my professor completely went against this notion: she sat next to me, pulled up a past study on her computer, and went through the methodology step-by-step. Out of her packed, busy schedule, my research professor devoted time to make sure I understood the concept crystal-clearly.
That moment deeply impacted me. There was no gain for my professor to take so much time to give me an in-depth understanding. However, she was happy to do so because she just wanted to help me learn.
I think that moment was a sharp awakening to how lucky I am to be surrounded by such an amazing support system. I've wandered through life with many amazing people that have forever shaped me and yet, I have not taken time to truly think about the impact of their actions. Out of everyone's busy, hectic lives, they made time for me, just because they wanted to see me flourish.
I don't want this post to seem like a complete brag-fest of the people in my life - I want it to be a reminder to take a second to appreciate the people around you. Not just for what they've done for you, but for who they are themselves as well. Ask your loved one's questions. Ask them so many that you will not wonder what they would have answered when they're gone. Learn from them and listen to their stories. Every single person's mind is a universe, and it is a pity that we cannot simply go about our days just sharing our life stories.
In hopes to persuade you, I will share a memory. I have learned from my piano teacher ever since I was 5. I have basically grown up with her. As I matured, she did as well. After 14 years, however, I realized that I had learned a lot about piano but not of her.
After a semester of college, I visited her with my sister. I was so happy to see her - even though my world had considerably changed, she was still the same, with her beautiful curly brown hair and her cozy, quaint house. While we were with her, I finally asked the questions I had always been wondering: what was her childhood like? What is her hometown like? After all these years, how was her life outside of our piano lessons?
I learned that my piano teacher grew up in Europe during the Second World War. She and her family escaped on a boat when she was very young. Her father was a well-known pianist, and as they fled a ravaged, burning city, she recalls that her father saved one thing: the piano books. "You can always get food, water, and shelter," my teacher says, "But if knowledge is purged, it is gone forever."
In America, my piano teacher had a blissful childhood that was rooted in music. Her teachers were very strict and her piano lessons from her father were difficult, but she still recalls her childhood as the best she could have had at the time. She says that she was blissfully unaware of the horrors happening around her and was so grateful to her parents for enabling that to happen.
My research professor had a very different upbringing, but her life is filled with triumphs and difficulties nonetheless. She told me that she spent much of her life experimenting with what she wanted to do. She originally pursued fashion, but after that didn't work out, she got an MBA, realized her passion for consumer behavior - especially regarding the perception of status - and now she conducts research on why people buy things the way they do. She told me to not follow what other people tell me to do and to just pursue what interests me. "You are allowed to be broke in your 20s", she said. "So you should use them to find who you truly are."
My father came to America shortly after he graduated college. He arrived in Chicago with $50 in his pocket. While my grandmother cried every night, worrying over her youngest son, my father built a life for me and my family. He first lived in a run-down apartment that was infested with fleas and often woke up with bites from them. He slept on a mattress on the ground that had almost been thrown away. He rode the Greyhound to school, worked as a professor's research assistant and a waiter at a Chinese restaurant, and he ate KFC with a host family every night. He saved so much money that my mother soon joined him in America. They got married in a municipal office because she was in school at the time and they were short on money. And now, decades later, even though my father has built a beautiful life for us, he is still incredibly thrifty with money. He never buys coffee or cable, and he wears the same shoes that he had 20 years ago.
These are only a few stories out of many that I hope to hear and learn from. There is so, so much to learn from the people around us. I have learned that not every lesson can be summed up in a quote or a saying. Sometimes, the stories themselves hold the most meaning.
I thought about all of this last night as my plane from Atlanta reached Ohio. Through the small airplane window, the world was dark and black from the night, but the lights in Ohio stood glimmering and beautiful, like small jewels in a trove. All of a sudden, I was so damn emotional, like I was in a sad music video where I was finally returning home, but I couldn't help but marvel at the sight below me. I was burnt out and empty from a tough semester at college, but as the plane descended into the lights, I could only think of the people I would see very soon.
With that said, thank you. Thank you for reading my thoughts. Thank you for watching my videos. Thank you for supporting me and caring for me. And thank you for everything else - thank you for the texts demanding updates on my life, thank you for saying hi to me around campus, thank you for holding the door for me when my hands are full, thank you for bringing me a towel to the communal shower when I forgot mine in my room, thank you for sneaking into Truist Park with me during the Braves Parade, thank you for being brave and going into Hot Topic to get me an anime stickers for my birthday, thank you for watching the same shows as me and discussing them with me, thank you for making me the most beautiful art, thank you for listening to my antics, thank you for all the advice, thank you for coming to me when you feel down, and thank you for the hugs, laughs, and everything in between. I have never felt so grateful and supported, and I hope you do too. And if not, that time will come - for me, it took years - but remember that there are so many amazing people you have not met, and one day you will, and life will feel like one big cheesy Hallmark movie.
I hope you have an amazing Thanksgiving, and I hope you continue to learn from the people around you. Life is too short to not ask questions, and I hope you ask many.
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